Readers, were you aware that many men like to take pictures of their junk – and then post said pictures pretty much everywhere? I mean, we all know about/have received unsolicited dick pictures, and it is comically easy to find pictures of penises. You don’t even necessarily have to be looking for them. Sometimes you can think you’re looking up My Little Pony pictures or new hairstyles or concert tickets, and, wham, there’s a dick.
However, dick pictures just won’t cut it anymore for some intrepid young testicle-havers. No, they want to put their balls in the spotlight and feel the wind through their pubic hair. Thus, “nutscaping” was invented.
In case you don’t want to go to the above link, I will paint you a picture. Nutscaping happens when a nut-haver is out in the wild enjoying the bounties of nature and they think to themselves, ‘Hey, you know what would make this moment better? If I took a picture with my nuts in it.’ And then, with nary a moment of reflection, they drop trough, bend over, and frame the perfect picture with their nuts teabagging the top of it, visible only as a dark, hairy blot.
I think this trend really tells us something about men: namely, how highly they value their genitalia. While we all know that most dudes love their genitals and are eager to both share and protect them from physical harm, I was never aware that they think of them as artwork. I mean, I see dicks and testicles, and my immediate thought is, ‘Huh. Yeah, still weird-looking,’ before going on about my day. But guys really pay attention to their junk. They’re always thinking about it, what its best side is, how to fully convey its girth and length, who they can share it with, and how they can give it more exposure. Male genitalia is not just something you have – it’s something you experience.
All joking aside, there are probably about half a dozen reasons why I find this trend distasteful, not least because it reinforces how men feel they can simply claim whatever they want and have fun with their anatomy while a woman’s must be regulated. For some men, it’s never enough that they are always paid more than women, that their word is more likely to be believed than a woman’s, that they will be hired more often than women, and that they hold the top paid positions in the world. No, they’ve still got to stick their dick on everything they can, whether it be a protesting man, woman, or child, a celebrity, a drunk friend’s face, or (metaphorically) nature. It is so irritating that nothing is inviolable for the male genitalia and that there’s literally nothing we can do about it.
Even more distressing is the reminder that male genitalia are for fun whereas female genitalia/bodies are for exploitation. Testicles are actual sex organs, but we find it humorous to take pictures of them and will publicize these pictures without being worried about appropriateness. Meanwhile, breasts on women are still not allowed to be bared in public whether for necessary biological functions like feeding a baby or cooling yourself off, and women are still being told when they’re baring too much skin – even if that skin is a shoulder, thigh, or stomach. Why are men still allowed to dictate what’s humorous and permissible? Why are they not held up to the same standard of propriety as women are? And why is it acceptable to take pictures of your testicles and just have the world shrug it off? If women’s secondary sexual features, reproductive organs, facial expressions, collarbones, and cellulite are going to be regulated and criminalized, then actually exposing yourself in public should at least warrant a slap on the wrist, not a high five and 15 minutes of fame.
* Note: Photo taken from nutscapes.com