Daily WTF: Texans Freaking Out Over Jade Helm 15

Over the past two and a half months, Texans in Bastrop County have been freaking out about military exercise “Jade Helm 15,” which will be running from July 15 through September 15. According to this press release from the US military, “This exercise is routine training to maintain a high level of readiness for ARSOF [Army Special Operations Forces] since they must be ready to support potential missions anywhere in the world at a moment’s notice. During this eight-week period, ARSOF soldiers will use this opportunity to further develop tactics, techniques and procedures for emerging concepts in Special Operations warfare.” The exercise will take place in seven states though training will only occur in Texas, Arizona, New Mexico, Utah, and Colorado.

However, some Texans think that this is Obama’s covert signal that he’s going to invade Texas. Yes, you read that right: people think Obama is going to invade Texas. And Texas Governor Greg Abbott has ordered the State Guard to monitor federal troops! Yes, that can only go well.

I lived in Texas for 18 years, and while I wanted to get out as soon as possible, I never thought my fellow Texans were capable of this sort of stupidity. Yes, we have a lot of guns and meat and have a yearly history lesson on why Texas is the best damn state in the Union. Yes, we all know that Texas can secede at any time (it’s in our Constitution) and most Texans have never been out of the state (it’s just too damn big), but I could have sworn we were regular people, not a weird amalgamation of fear and aggression in a meat sack.

What makes it worse is that this speculation that Texas is about to be invaded and set under martial law only comes from disreputable news sources like IntelliHub, Alex Jones, and the Austin American-Statesman. They’re making facetious connections like two Wal-marts closing to claim that the US military is launching an invasion through the mega corporation. They seems to think that the US government would bring in fighters from the Islamic State, despite the fact that the US government has been fighting against the Islamic State for months. They’re claiming that Obama wants to turn Texas into some Nazi Germany scenario despite having no basic historical understanding what life was like in Nazi-run Germany or what the Nazis really wanted to do.

This is fear mongering at its worse, and it is utterly ridiculous. Bastrop, I grew up an hour drive from you. I know you’re not this dumb. So quit embarrassing yourself and enjoy all the cash the military’s about to pour into your town. And for God’s sakes, stop getting your news from ad-sponsored fake sources.

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