Today my sister called and imparted grave news: Hollywood is making a Pitch Perfect 3.
I have one word for this: why?
Pitch Perfect 2 is a horrible movie full of completely one-dimensional (not even two) characters, scads of racist and homophobic jokes, no real plot, horrible music, and cringe-worthy after cringe-worthy scene. Under the guidance of new director Elizabeth Banks, every single character became a joke whether it was Fat Amy (SPOILER ALERT!) inexplicably falling for Bumper and not being able to get any other guys, Cynthia Rose spending the whole movie ogling her friends, or Beca losing all of her mojo and becoming a tongue-tied ‘tween. Even the retreat scene where the girls were supposed to come together and support each other reduced two of the girls to interchangeable dolls, at least two others into utter stereotypes, and Chloe into some kind of vapid airhead. There was no real girl power, no decent female relationships, and no understanding that women should support one another. I will say it again: Pitch Perfect 2 is a horrible movie.
Until I heard this news, I had honestly convinced myself that Pitch Perfect 2 wasn’t real and didn’t matter. I considered Pitch Perfect the end-all, be-all and was willing to gloss over the embarrassment that was Pitch Perfect 2. Now I don’t know what to do or what to think. I’m obviously not going to see this third installment, but I also strongly feel like I should do something to try to stop it. I don’t care if Pitch Perfect 2 made twice in the box office what Pitch Perfect did – it ruined the franchise for me and numerous other girls and women who had rejoiced at finally getting a funny, non-sexual, non-gross girl-centric comedy. Pitch Perfect 2 felt like a slap in the face and reconfirmation that Hollywood doesn’t value women as characters, actors, or audience members. So I have to do something about Pitch Perfect 3. The only question is what.
I’m open to suggestions.