We’ve all had this happen to us before: we’ll be minding our own business checking social media when suddenly we’ll find someone talking shit about us. They never name us directly, but they reference this friend who did the exact thing that we did yesterday. And it’s not vague like, “went to the restaurant,” it’s, “Went to Dave and Busters to play Plinko with two other friends just because we didn’t have time to do it on Thursday.” So you know it’s you. And then you contact them directly and they get mad at you. “Excuse me, am I not allowed to vent on my own social media?” they demand, all full of righteous indignation. “And it’s not like I even said your name. Why are you getting mad at me?”
What people don’t seem to realize is that the problem isn’t that they’re venting on social media – it’s that they’re talking shit, which is always a problem. There is no difference between talking shit online or in person. You’re still saying horrible things about the person and getting people to dislike them. That’s what you need to own up to.
Now I understand this tendency. I’m 120% sure that I’ve utilized it myself. It’s very convenient to passive-aggressively talk shit about someone who’s irritated you. It allows you to start an argument without actually starting it. It’s placing the responsibility of conflict on the other person. It’s giving you the high ground to stand on if they confront you. But it’s also ridiculous and immature, and it makes you a whiny little gossip. It, in fact, takes away your high ground because instead of being the rightfully wronged one, you’re the jerk who got on social media and aired someone else’s dirty laundry. You’re the friend who will tell everyone someone else’s business. How can you be trusted?
That’s not to say don’t do it. Feel free – what do I care? Just don’t act surprised when you get called out for it. Take responsibility for your actions. It’ll make you less of an asshole.